Its hard to write that Isaiah did not want to go to school today, he fought and cried. Thomas took him in and stayed there in a tiny chair all day. WOW. Wish somebody loved me like that. Oh yeah…they do…ABBA. He requires my respect, and obedience, but when I let him down he loves me still. He loves me still, he loves me soft, he loves me strong.

                            Thomas did that for Isaiah today. We still took his toys away for his behavior, but we will never turn our backs, or our faces for that matter. We will walk out in front of him,LOVE, RESPECT, and, OBEDIENCE. And hope he follows our example.

                         Thank you to my prayer warriors, don’t give up, I’m not. We have gained ground.The enemy hates when families pray and worship and heal together. We are growing BECAUSE of this adversity. We are stronger because of our faith. love to you all.

Thats it ….one life to live, and when it comes down to it, all I have to offer, all I have to give is love.

 I have been looking for an encounter with the Lord, and when I dropped Isaiah off at school, I believe that Jesus was looking at me from inside Isaiah’s eyes. Fear has been broken off, because (i believe) that Isaiah has GRASPED …perfect love. And therefore, I have.

   So today I am a woman posessed, crazy in love, unable to sit still or carry on a conversation. How do I hold on to this ?

How far away will you let me go ?

How afraid will you let me be ?

Fear is my enemy, he is chasing me

He calls out to me in the day, wrestles me in the night

Lord please hold me, keep me in your sight.

 My eyes search you out, your voice, your wisdom, your light.

You push back the heavens until I am in clear view

 You answer cry, give me all of you.

 You never looked away, even in the darkest day

my spirit shines and sings praises to your name

I will dance, I will dance, I will dance , I will dance

 I will give hope a chance.

just a couple more.  Adam- carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. He is my champion, always there to cheer me on. So vulnerable to God…truly believes.

Sidney- she is my butterfly, trying to get out of her cocoon.

isabelle!! beautiful dreamer, trying to find a way to bring heaven and earth together ! Would also like to know how to turn high school musical into something spiritual so that I would let her watch it 24 hours a day !this is truly worth a thousand words !! Refeshed, redeemed, restored, rescued, revived !! It was a celebration, I was happy that pastor steve, who has seen the kids born and watched them grow, was the one to lead them into the next leg of their faith walk with the LORD !!my husband and the ram’s horn. WOW. It smelled really bad, but the sound of it is something I expect to hear in heaven. It shakes things loose, rearranges my way of thinking in a way….when I hear it, my mind and heart on focused on the Lord. can’t explain it. Isaiah- so tender that he breaks my heart, and so tough, that sometimes I can’t break through. He is a scavenger, and right now he is looking for the LORD and any information about him. He is so open right now, the Lord is realy speaking to him, all the time.

today thomas and I and 3 of our children spent some time with friends. I really did not notice the kids talking to dr. ben, but later they each, at seperate times, said to me “i think dr. ben really likes me!”

                           You know what I think ? Dr. Ben is one of those people that makes you feel like YOU are his favorite person in the world. I love it, I don’t understand it, but I love it.

                             I love it because that is how Abba makes me feel. Like my worship is the sweetest, and my words are perfect, and my face is the one he wants to see. He makes me feel like I’m his favorite one.

Oddly, last night I went to bed burdened with the thought”am I known by Jesus?” Well…am I ? I spent quite some time praying and crying out, I wanted some kind of encounter, a sign, if you will. Nothing.

           Met a friend for lunch, and almost the first thing she said was ” I had an amazing encounter with the HOLY SPIRIT last night !”  Really ? At the exact time that I was laying in my bed praying(around 12:30) she was doing the same thing ! She felt and audibly heard the flapping of wings as the Holy Spirit washed over her !! I am ok with this, I am happy for her. But I still want MY encounter, too. The more I seek him, the more I will find him. Going back to the drawing board tonight.

I am in the long and drawn out process of getting all of my poems and songs together and into some kind of format. This is a little overwhelming, seeing as I have things that have been written on napkins and scraps of paper all over my house. Although, hard it is good to remind me of what the Lord has done in me. A new work, a new song.

         This is one of the first songs that I wrote, this one actually has a melody and chords(thanks to erin littleson and adam keyes) I havent thought about it in a long time, but wanted to share it today.

                                   Let us hear, let us pray

                                    let us dance, let us sing

                      the song of the broken, the song of the redeemed

                       the song of the Son, the song of the King

                          Jesus, Lord of Lords

                          Jesus, King of Kings

                        Jesus, Almighty God

                     Lord over everything

After I wrote this song the Lord gave someone a word for me, he called me his songbird. I have kept that hidden in my heart like a seed, I’ve watered it and cherished it and now I am watching it grow.

Yesterday at THE HINGE was amazing. I have a sunburned nose and blisters on my feet and it was so worth it. Though exhausting, the hours of prayer shook things loose on a big level, but also on a more personal level. I spent a lot of the family hour praying for mine. I think thats ok…I prayed for other families in Greenville, too, but felt clearly that I should start with mine. Big steps for Isaiah !! He went into his church class today and participated !!He actually asked if he could blow the rams horn to get rid of his fear this morning ! Thank you LORD !! YOU are all I want , all I need. Isaiah is breaking through !!

                 ISAIAH and Isabelle are getting baptized tonight. I am humbled and blessed and filled with hope. It feels good.

I have been walking around in a frenzy for a week now. School is about to start, new book study, sidney’s summer school exam….the hinge. Just a ball of nerves, worrying and stressing out. I am smart enough to know that this is not only a sin, but its not good for me, I’ve had a constant stomach ache. So, I repent. And, I ask for help. And so simply and calmly the Lord says this to me ” In all of this, I will go before you”

                          Whew ! Thank goodness ! Now, I can relax.